Adolescente vulgariteiten zijn nog geen goede mop.
22 years old: Graduated from college. Go to military flight school. Become hot shot fighter pilot. Get married.
25 years old: Have 1st kid. Now hotshot fighter jock getting shot at in war.
Just want to get back to USA in one piece.
Get back to USA as primary flight instructor pilot. Get bored. Volunteer for war again.
29 years old: Get back from war all tuckered out. Wants out of military.
30 years old: Join airline. World is your oyster.
31 years old: Buy flashy car, house and lots of toys. Get over the
military poverty feeling.
32 years old: Divorce boring 1st wife. Pay child support and maintenance. Drink lots of booze and screw around while looking for 2nd wife.
33 years old: Furloughed. Join military reserve unit and fly for fun. Repeat above for a few more years.
35 years old: Airline recall. More screwing around but looking forward to a good marriage and settling down.
36 years old: Marry young spunky 25 year old flight attendant.
37 years old: Buy another house. Gave first one to first wife.
38 years old: Give in to second wife to have more kids. Father again.
Wife concerned about "risky" military Reserve flying so you resign commission.
39 years old: Now a captain. Hooray! Upgrade house, buy boat, small single engine airplane and even flashier cars.
42 years old: 2nd wife runs off with wealthy investment banker but still wants to share house (100%).
43 years old: Settle with wife # 2 and resolve to stay away from women forever. Seek a position as a check Captain for 10% pay override to pay mounting bills. Move into 1 bedroom apartment with window air conditioners.
44 years old: Company resizes and you're returned to copilot status. 25% pay cut. Become simulator instructor for 10 % override pay.
49 years old: Captain again. Move into 2-bedroom luxury apartment with central air conditioning.
50 years old: Meet sexy Danish model on International trip. She loves You and says you are very "beeeeg!"
51 years old: Marry sexy Danish model for wife #3. Buy big house, boat, twin engine airplane and upgrade cars.
52 years old: Sexy model wants kids (not again). Resolve to get vasectomy.
54 years old: Try to talk wife out of kids, but presto, she's pregnant.
She says she got sick after taking the pill. Accident, sorry, won't happen again.
55 years old: Father of triplets.
56 years old: Wife #3 wants very big house, bigger boat and very flashy cars, "worried" about your private flying and wants you to sell twin engine airplane.
You give in. You buy a motorcycle and join motorcycle club.
57 years old: Make rash investments to try and have enough money for retirement.
59 years old: Lose money on rash investment and get audited by the IRS.
You have to fly 100% International night trips just to keep up with child support and alimony to wife #1 and #2.
60 years old: Wife #3 (sexy model) says you're too damned old and no fun. She leaves. She takes most of your assets.
You're forced to retire due to Age 60 rule. No money left.
61 years old: Now Captain on a non-schedule South American 727 freight outfit and living in a non-air conditioned studio apartment directly underneath the final appro ach to runway 9 at Miami Int'l.
You have "interesting" Hispanic neighbors who ask you if you've ever flown DC-3's.
65 years old: Lose FAA medical and get job as sim instructor.
Don't look forward to years of getting up at 2 AM for 3 AM sim in every god-forsaken town you train in due to the fact your carrier can find cheap, off-hours sim time at various Brand X Airlines.
70 years old: Hotel alarm clock set by previous FedEx crewmember goes Off at 1:00 AM.
Have heart attack and die with smile on face. Happy at last!
there is no better life then being a pilot
It happened south of Coen, right near the north eastern tip of Australia.
Presumably trying to get their daily muster under wraps, the pilot got a little too close to his livestock and
ended up with one of the chopper's feet caught on the horns of a cow.
The cow that caused the kerfuffle is said to be totally unharmed and presumably quite smug.
The helicopter pilot is fine too — he was able to simply walk away from the crash before to went up in flames.
First there was AQP,
And now, there's S.H.I.T.
The COMPANY is pleased to announce the following:
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from our pilots,
it will be our policy to keep all crews well taught through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TEACHING (S.H.I.T.).
We are trying to give our crews more S.H.I.T. than any other airline.
If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. at work, please see your Chief Pilot.
You will immediately be placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list and our trainers are especially skilled at seeing you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle.
Pilots who don't know S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EDUCATIONAL EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.).
Those who fail to take D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EDUCATIONAL ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.).
Since our trainers all took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, as they are all full of S.H.I.T. already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in applying for BSC and passing on your knowledge to others.
We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.).
For pilots who are interested in pursuing a career in management,
we will refer you to the department of MANAGERIAL OPERATIONAL RESEARCH EDUCATION (M.O.R.E. S.H.I.T.).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TASK SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.)
c/o your Base Captain.
A Parody of the popular BBC interview. A Pilot tries desperately to read back her Takeoff Clearance while being interrupted by her crew. Follow @theglobemaster and @_thetravelingblonde on Instagram.
Saturday Day Night live.Gepubliceerd op 26 jan. 2019
A Scottish air traffic controller (James McAvoy) with a heavy accent tries to guide a plane to a safe landing.
#SNL #JamesMcAvoy #MeekMill #SNL44