De Santa Kerst, wie durft ?

arthorizon

arthorizon

New member
Nu December upon us is komt de jaarlijkse vraag; wie is de durfal die de euvele moed heeft de gewraakte en uitgeknepen Santa Check Ride hier te plaatsen en zodoende de Bozo of the year award 2008 te krijgen?

Voor de goed orde, onderstaande plaat is een variant geleend van de automobiel branche.

Dus niet geschroomd, enkele "airwork coryfeen' zijn u in voorbije jaren reeds voorgegaan en heben met pek en veren het dorp moeten verlaten.

flattirewy9.jpg


Cheers
Art:kerst:
 
Diegene die het hier post moet verplicht op de volgende AWB zijn en dan wordt hij/zij met pek en veren aan de bar gezet. De checkride blijft grappig, maar niet elk jaar.

Zou het eerder anders voorstellen:

Wie o wie weet nog leuke (nieuwe) kerst spreuken/plaatjes/whatever die nog niet hier gepost zijn?
 
Santa Claus, like all pilots, gets regular visits from the Federal Aviation Administration, and it was shortly before Christmas when the FAA examiner arrived.
In preparation, Santa had the elves wash the sled and bathe all the reindeer. Santa got his logbook out and made sure all his paperwork was in order.
The examiner walked slowly around the sled. He checked the reindeer harnesses, the landing gear, and Rudolf's nose. He painstakingly reviewed Santa's weight and balance calculations for the sled's enormous payload.
Finally, they were ready for the checkride. Santa got in and fastened his seatbelt and shoulder harness and checked the compass. Then the examiner hopped in carrying, to Santa's surprise, a shotgun.
"What's that for?" asked Santa incredulously.
The examiner winked and said, "I'm not supposed to tell you this, but you're gonna lose an engine on takeoff."
Click to expand...

Geen poespas, gewoon doen. Heb niet eens met mijn ogen geknipperd! Let the shit hit the fan!
 
Viper1983,

Dan zal je toch eens weer moeten zien of je er bij kan zijn om het te controleren! Want de laatste keer melde je weer af met een of andere drogreden :)

Nou ja, de kogel is door de kerk, hij is gepost, Santa's checkride, dus....... Flame away!!!

Groeten

:radar: André :radar:
 
kom maar kom maar kom maar kom maar!!!!

Om het vuurtje nog een beetje op te stoken: KLM'ers kunnen niet vliegen, Ryanairs zijn nog te goedkoop om te poepen, Transavia zijn sloerie's en Lufthansa hebben het niet geweten!!

kom maar kom maar kom maar kom maar!!!! :airforce:
 
jaaaa FPS maar die laatste post klopt gewoon! das nie eerlijk he?!!

Gij zult met pek en veren over spl lopen! :D
 
In a surprise move today The Federal Aviation Administration and Homeland Security joined forces to unilaterally deny domestic air space clearance to the traditional Christmas Eve sleigh ride by Santa Claus.

Santa's ride has been bringing joy and happiness to millions of children for generations. Irate parents worldwide are said to be absolutely distraught. "Who's going to eat the milk and cookies for a start?" asked one parent.

Homeland Security has said that any penetration into American air space will be considered an act of aggression as part of their duty in keeping American airspace and borders safe. A spokesman from Homeland Security told us, "We just can't have every jolly, rosy cheeked, white haired fruitcake in the world flying around American air space unsupervised."

FAA are scratching their heads about where to begin certifying Santa's sleigh as safe for flight. There are no standards regulating the stability and performance of reindeer, also the FAA simply don't know how to inspect a machine which, in their minds, "totally defies the laws of physics".

The FAA will consider granting clearance if all FAA regulations are met. Here are a few:

* As a powered aircraft, Santa's sleigh requires a proper licensed propulsion system (Reindeer fed on magic dust are not mentioned in the Regs and can't be used).
* A signle red light at the lead of the pack of reindeer does not constitute a set of running lights
* The Sleigh must have a valid maintenance certificate and must meet aerodynamic requirements and be tested in a wind-tunnel.
* Detailed flight plans must be plotted and submitted to the FAA at least six months in advance
Santa Claus is said to be very upset by the reaction from these US agencies and feels the actions are a direct violation of the Children's basic human rights.

Homeland Security laid down the following ultimatum to Santa Claus, "If we see any flying sleighs in the skies over America you can bet you bottom dollar there'll be a F-16 with sidewinders blasting it outta the sky."
 
Flying_pizza_service said:
kom maar kom maar kom maar kom maar!!!!

Om het vuurtje nog een beetje op te stoken: KLM'ers kunnen niet vliegen,
kom maar kom maar kom maar kom maar!!!! :airforce:
Click to expand...
Tower: "KLM 351, you have traffic at 10 o'clock, 6 miles!" KLM 351:"Give us another hint! We have digital watches!"
 
A KLM PILOT IN HEAVEN

A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans telling every girl in sight he is a pilot for KLM.

Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?" The guy replies, "Don't you know who I am? I'm Jan-Pieter Bas, retired KLM pilot."

Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom."

The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.

Next it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years." Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom."

"Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?"

"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; while he flew, people prayed and prayed."
 
@ Jetcap.

Had de anekdote van pilot goes to heaven inderdaad al eens gehoord, wij, aviators, schijnen daar toch vroeg of laat terecht te komen.
Er was echter een kleine variant in de berichtgeving die ik ontvangen heb, na het "Just a minute," says the minister. "That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be?" was het antwoord van P, thats right sir, the Boss takes care of his own.:kerst:

Cheers
Art
 
@ koenemans,

ja dat is niet zo moeilijk. Heb ik al klaar in een overzicht. Ga het alleen nog niet posten.... Laten we aub wachten tot de 3e week van dec :D
 
Het moeten wel Santa grappen blijven natuurlijk:
(jonge lezertjes slaan dit stukje beter over)

Santa Answered His Mail Honestly.

Deer Santa, I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. I'v ben a gud boy all yeer. Yer Friend, Billy

Dear Billy, Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in lawncare. How about I send you a book so you can learn to read and spell? I'm giving your older brother the space ranger. At least HE can spell, you little retard. Santa


Dear Santa, I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is peace and joy in the world for everybody! Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah, Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't they? God damned hippies. You get a toy gun. Santa


Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left carrots for your reindeer outside the back door. Love, Susan

Dear Susan, Milk gives me the shits and carrots make the deer fart in my face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a real favor? Leave me a bottle of eighteen year old scotch and a seventeen year old girl. Santa


Dear Santa, I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I'd like for my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do. Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy, Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give up that piece of tight little Latino ass, just to come back to your frigid alcoholic mother? It's time to give up that dream, kid. Let me send you some Legos instead. Santa


Dear Santa, I want a new bike, a Playstation 2, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba. Love, Francis

Dear Francis, Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're a little gay homo. I'll set you up with a Barbie, you fag. Santa


Dear Santa, What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you busy making toys? Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas, All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno films. But when I'm not defiling teenage runaways on film, I unwind by drinking myself silly, squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps table, and doing enough pure Columbian blow to kill a rhinoceros. Hey, you wanted to know. Santa


Dear Santa, Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really know when we're awake, like in the song? Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica, Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do and let me know if you're ever in Vegas. But know that I'm skipping your house this year. Santa


Dear Santa, I really want a puppy this year. Please, please, please, PLEASE, PLEASE could I have one? Love, Timmy

Dear Timmy, That whiney begging shit may work with your folks, but that crap doesn't work with me. Man up, you little bitch. You're getting a sweater, again. Santa


Dearest Santa, We don't have a chimney in our house. How do you get into our home? Love, Marky

Dear Mark, First stop callling yourself "Marky", that's why you're getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you don't live in a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex because that's all your crack-whore of a mother can afford. Third, I get inside your pad just like the boogeyman does, through your bedroom window. Sweet dreams, Santa
 
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